This whole thing about English being prudish is complete bull. They’re just too fucking cold to think about fucking. I was at the park the other day when it was a balmy 18 degrees and the park was littered with couples basically having sex with their clothes on. Gyrating, dry humping, the works.
You only need to look at the randy Brazilians, Spanish and Italians to see there is definitely a connection between the heat and the horny.
And it’s easy to see why. It’s hard to have sexy time when your partner is so pale they camouflage into your white Egyptian cotton sheets. Or they’re so void of any colour you wake up in the middle of the night and freak out that you’re sleeping next to the Casper’s sister.
I know that global warming will probably destroy the world and all that but on a positive note (every acid rain cloud has a silver lining) it might help defrost the frigid English.
I could see a Mardi Gras style parade rolling past Buckingham Palace with the Queen getting low, low, low while Prince Edward puts his back in to it.
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