Boys cover your eyes. I’m talking about periods.
When you first start getting your period is a bit of a novelty and really you’re quiet happy that its arrived because you were starting to worry that it might be a no show.
You feel quite excited to have been allowed into the world of womanhood. You carry around of couple pristine panty liners or ‘pads’ hidden in a secret zip pocket in their school bag as there is a constant fear of the floral packaging being exposed. After you feel a more confident you move on to tampons. You change them with stopwatch precision, every four hours, for fear that they might self-combust.
As you get older you get a lot more nonchalant about the whole thing. It’s pretty standard that at any point in time you will have at least two wild tampons flying around your handbag. You’re so over the embarrassment of it all that you will tell anyone within earshot about how annoying and painful it is, even your boyfriend if he is lucky enough.
You feel comfortable around most of your guy friends but you know that the men you work with can not handle knowing this lady information. So you have to perform a covert operation to get the tampon out of your handbang without them noticing. First you pretend you’re looking for something in the bottom of your bag using the rummaging as a diversion. Once they have been fooled you can grab one of the tampons running free across the vast fabric landscape. You then try and hold the tampon in your hand so it appears that you are actually not carrying a tampon in your hand. This takes years of practice.
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